not always good at handling goodbyes...

Hi hi...i am back for another blog...hahahaha...uhmm, in this blog, i am gonna share about me handling a few goodbyes in my life and recently one that is going to happen in a year time....u see, i suck at saying goodbyes to my friends...i don like to see them leave...its not easy for me....my first goodbye was with 2 teachers in my school...those two teachers were my favourite teacher...i know they are just having their practical in my school and i should not have gotten so close with them but somehow, God bring me to them n i kinda was attached to them...i spent most of my time with this two teachers but when its time for them to go back to where their came from, it was painful for me....as a matter of fact, i didnt slept for 2 whole nights....as life goes on, one of my church member came back from USA...before this, i am not that close to her....somehow, we talked on MSN and finally we get each other's phone number and we talk n talk n talk...we talk alot till she and i got attached to each other real close...at last i found that i fall in love with her...the thing is, i myself know that she is having a boyfriend in USA n she is going back to USA in another 3 months time but yet, i chose the stupid path by falling in love with her...oh gosh....i was in deep shit that time...its like, we are just friends but i cant take my eyes off of here not even just for a second....then, it was time she had to leave back to USA...so far, i didnt express my feelings towards her....something kept me from doing so and i am still seeking what is the thing that is hindering me from expressing me feelings on her....mayb i wasnt dare enought to face the fact that eventhough if our love bloom, it will never last long cuz i wasnt good enough for her...mayb thats why....lets carry on, long after my church member left back to USA, another farewell that i am going to face in a year time is already counting its time....it my beloved sis...well, she is the only sis i ever love and care for so much....it was just yesterday that she told me she is going to leave for UK next year...oh gosh, deep shit right now....from the time i got the message from her, i kept on thinking about what will happen to me in a year time...will i be able to handle this farewell??? and even if i say i can handle it, will my heart ever follow what my mouths says??? its hard to say....she is my one and only sis i had that i care so much...now that i know she is leaving soon, i am speechless....i wanted to avoid her but i cant...avoiding is a total waste of my time....i should do my best to spend time with her n be there for her all the time....no matter what the consequences is, she is still my sis....oh well, its not easy for me....i dont know how is it for her....i hate goodbyes but it is a part of life...when we met someone new, no doubt there will be a farewell someday later on....human are so realistic, they can just put aside the farewells and not think about it until it really happens....like the phrase goes, u dont know what u've got until its gone...am i right??? right now, i am so blank...my mind cant think right....i wonder what is on my sis mind??? but however it is, its still part of the circle of life....when we start, we will end it somehow....i am feeling such in a dilemma right now..can anyone of u plz, advice me on how to handle farewells???? i really need advice...alright then, this is my blog for now, and i'll see ya all next time....tata for now...nitezzz