things were not the same anymore...

after a few days without one of the most important person in my life....i feel that i am no longer the same person anymore...i thought that i could go bec being the same old me but its not that way anymore...u see, after this year's Valentine's day, alot ppl are breaking up that includes me...and, it made me realise one thing, the ppl around us are no longer having the spirit to celebrate all these ocations anymore....these happenings mean nothing to them and they don put their heart into celebrating it anymore...i thought it was my fault for not being the same as the others but i feel tat, i am celebrating each and every happenings as i used to...but somehow, i wasnt me anymore...as confirm as i am, i am already another person....my first perception is, that i wasnt in the mood for love ever again cuz, i have been hurt so deeply this year and it was my own doings...second perception is, i already stop smoking and i feel so unusual but somehow, i still have to go on stop smoking cuz i already promised someone that i stop it...*someone important to me*....can anyone give me an answer what is happening to me?? in other words, i am becoming more coward...more n more n more afraid to do things anymore...WHY!? i need an answer so that i can find the truth and solve this...by doing so only i can be myself again....*that's what i hope so*....*sigh*

signing out,
-KD Wong-

it ended so fast n badly...WHY!?

well, this time i just wanna tell u guys that, my relationship with the girl i love so much just ended this afternoon...she claims that she i not really comfortable having this relatinship with me right now and she wants me to wait for her to come bec from USA only she will reconsider our chances of being together...i hat farewells, and i am not very good at it...she is gonna go there in about 1 year plus time...and when she does, she isnt gonna come bec cuz her contract to there states there is no off-day for her to come bec M'sia...i was very sad at first with this decision but i have to respect her cuz i just love her to much...there is nothing i can do to change her mind cuz i promised to respect each n every decision she makes...if fate is siding on my side, i am willingly to wait for her even if it takes a very very long time...and if i am able to graduate together with her, i decide to follow her even to the end of the world...i just cant give up this feeling cuz i haven have this feeling for a long long time before...its hard for me...i've been loving her ever since and now, when i knew i had the chance to be with her, i just cant be with her anymore...i really hate myself...i am blaming myself for all this happening...cuz if i didnt plan the Valentine's day plan then everything will be the same as usual meaning i would love her secretly without hurting her nor myself...i am willingly to wait for her but i am damn sure that in 3 years time, things would not be the same anymore and she might find the other half during this time...what am i supposed to do right now??? even if i waited for her, chances of us being together might not be as high as before...i am darn moody right now...every sort of sadness is in me now...sad, moody, down, hopeless, and etc....no point me telling my prblems to other ppl cuz they cant help cure this pain i am going through...i just have t bear the pain myself alone...oh gosh, why am i crying right now?? i shouldnt be crying over a thing like this but it comes naturally...i did not cry for any of the girl i love before so she is the first i cried...oh gosh...i am in so much pain right now...please God, help me go through this pain...i need your guidance...*sigh*

signing out,
-KD Wong-

this song makes me feel happy yet sad at the same time....for the time being i hope

MMMMMMMMMM

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream

Cinderella theme

Crazy as it seems

Always knew that deep inside that there would come that day

But I would have to wait

Make so many mistakes

I couldn't comprehend

As I watched it unfold

This classic story told I left it in the cold

Walking through an open door that led me back to you

Each one unlocking more of the truth

I finally stopped tripping on my youth

I finally got lost inside of you

I finally know that I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]:Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

MMMMMMMM

I remember the beginning you already knew

I acted like a fool

Just trying to be cool

Fronting like it didn't matter

I just ran away

And on another phase

Was lost in my own space

Found what its like to hurt selfishly

Scared to give of me

Afraid to just believe

I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place

Stumbled through the mess that I have made

Finally got out of my own way

I've Finally started living for today

I finally know that I needed to grow

And finally my mate has met my soul

[chorus]:Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have a our differences

Something strange and new is happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Gave my love to him Finally

MMMMMMMM

Finally, Finally

Finally

Now my destiny can begin

Though we will have our differences

Something beautiful is happening, happening

Finally

Now my life doesn't seem so bad

It's the best that I've ever had

Give my love to him finally

Ohhhhhhh, Finally, Finally, Finally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmoKaQ1T4hc

Signing out,

-KD Wong-

finally...together at last...

i finally manage to convince her to give me a chance to be with her....i mean together with the girl i love so much...during valentine's day, the plan that i arrange go smoothly...and she was kinda impressed i guess...hahaha....then the next day i sms with her, she finally gave me a chance to be with her....OMG..thanks God for blessing me with her...i will really appreciate her with all my might....another thing is my Penang trip...it was really a fun one...i bought this book entitled "How to Know GOD" and beyond my wildest dream, it was the book that really amazed me...hahahaha...i love that book so much....i talks about the 7 stages of knowing ur GOD...well, tats all for now, i got to go rest...just came bec from Penang...and very tired...hahaha...see ya all another time...

signing out
-KD Wong-

going to make my final move...i guess

its me again....i am back for another freakingly boring blog...lol...well, tomorrow ia m heading off to Penang for my semester break...and guess who is going along??? its the girl that i have been in love for so long...seriously, i have been in love with her since semester 1 if i not mistaken...well, the best part is that, i am going there to celebrate my fren's burday which is on the same day as Valentine's Day...OH MY GOD!!!! i just had the perfect plan for this....i am gonna buy roses and a gift to the girl i love n hopefully she will accept me to be together with her...well, lets not be over-confidence anyway cuz the higher the hope i put onto, the higher the disappointment i will get in return if the plan backfires...right??? anyway, its been a long journey, and she is rejecting me ever since....well, i don wanna hope for the best but if this Valentine's Day plan works then thansk God for it but if it fails, then, by any means i am giving up....seriously...call me a quitter or anything but, its just too hard for me to chase her when she has already set her mind not to be with me right??? well, i am going out now to have my lunch+breakfast so see ya in another blog...wish me all the best ya!!! hehehehe....tata

signing out,
KD Wong

where am i supposed to go right now???

in this blog, i suddenly wanna write something but i don really have a strong topic wor...lol...i oso dunno why...i am supposed to study for my FOOD exam paper later....but once i woke up, i just don feel like studying...i have this very weird feeling that, i am gonna be a no one in future...i was thinking where am i supposed to go right now??? what i mean is, which road i must take so that it will decide my future....i am totally blank out right now...i wonder, if studying really suits my life...i wanna study so that i can confirm a steady n firm future for myself but, in the other hand, i don feel like studying anymore...many things had happen since i came to college...some happy n some sickening...to be honest, one of the thing is LOVE...afterall, everyone need some love right??? haha...since i came to college, i fell in love twice already...well, both didnt went well as i was suppose....many ppl say this is not my time to love yet but if i don take the initiative to go looking for it, when will it come...am i right??? its not that i don wanna accept the fact but this is a theory...u don look, u don get....i dunno what the hell i am doing in my college life...another thing is, SMOKING....o gosh....actually i really wanna stop smoking n i tried to stop twice too...first time was like going through hell...sleep-wake up-sleep again-wake up again-sleep again....OMG...i was like i am always tired...second time i tried, i put in a purpose to stop smoking....it went successfully, cuz i stop for 5 days without feeling tired or whatsoever....it was like the feeling is so good....in the end, i smoked back cuz the purpose for me to stop smoking just vanished into thin air just like that....i think u all also can guess what my purpose is right? haha...of course not for health lar silly...hehe....anyway, i am gonna stop here cuz i gonna go study now, so see ya all in the next blog...hehe...tata...take care...

pEaC3-0Ut
KD Wong....

don need to face me anymore...*sigh*

hihi...i am back...today i am kinda moody...oklar, i tell u all...recently, i like this gal from my class...and we are hanging out alot and i find that i fell in love with her...so, i slowly slowly try to get close to her lor...but the things is i feel kinda akward when she is around and i think she feel so too...after for some while, she finally realise that i am trying to chase her...well, at first i thought she might give a good reaction cuz, i really am treating her very good (i thought so)....but, she tell another fren of mine about what she feels about me...she say that, its gonna be hard for her to face me cuz after all, we all are going to be in the same class in future....hahaha...nvm ba...it was this that made me moody...well, thats all ba...kakaka...see ya all next time...